poem: Frailty & Flowers

The smoke is cleared
The faces bright
They are smeared
With make-up, right
Left
Down and upsides.
I see your hearts
and your minds
I shot the dart!
The fault is mine.
Felt
it deep in your lives.
I say I'm sorry.
Hypocrites.
But you tossed me
Far aside
like a ragdoll, like a shoe, like any toy.
And you should say
"I didn't lie."
Start a new day,
thought I'd die.
Like your ragdolls, like your shoes, like your old toys.

Woe is me; I'm tossed aside
Poor fragile flower.
But frailty thy name is You
I gave You your power.

Draining the Humor (3)

3- asking a favor

When Orion Hookwell asked for solitude, Bri knew better than to question him further. Her husband was the type to retreat into himself at times but he always emerged better for it. She had also attempted in the past to pull him out of his introversions but found it more harmful than good.
Knowing Orion was like knowing two people in one. One side of him was seductive, confidant and elegant. He was cold but he had a fine sense of humor and did things even against popular opinion. The other side was sweet, innocent and almost fragile. He was emotional and sensitive, but resilient and impossible to keep down.
When Orion told her that he would need a day or two to think, she nodded in understanding and answered a call their distant neighbor Lucy had left her.
Bri had the carriage transport her to Lucy’s estate early in the evening.
The heiress’ sailor husband was away, so Bri expected to be greeted by the mistress of the house alone. When she found Lucy, she was at the piano with a large man. He was playing as she sang, her high soprano hitting notes like bells.
She spotted Bri first and she trailed off in her song, the operatically trained voice fading out with power. “Amadeus! Darling, my company is here!”
The muscular man turned in the piano chair to survey Bri. He had blue eyes and strong, chiseled features. His hair was a dark blonde and his manner imposing. Bri’s uncontrolled laugh greeted him. She had no idea who he was, and he certainly was not Lucy’s husband.
Lucy embraced her shorter friendly tightly, “How has it been? The marriage I mean…”
Bri was happy to share details with Lucy but she was still unsure how much the woman truly wanted to know. This was the friend who had leant the ‘love potion’ after all, and seemed to know of Orion’s preference. Furthermore, rumors of the Arteberrys were so widespread that they had a reputation as “hidden deviants.” Bri suspected the large, speechless man Amadeus was a lover of Lucy’s.
“It’s such a beautiful day outside, why don’t we have a picnic!” the soprano offered Bri.
Bri’s laugh erupted out of nerves this time. She was not sure if she could keep up with this prettier woman’s energy. When they had their food, they headed beneath a tree where they set up to eat. Lucy was radiant as she had been at the wedding several weeks ago, stealing attention away from the bride every so often. Her red hair was in a bun and her dress was a blue that matched her eyes.
“Mrs. Arteberry,” Bri asked, when she had finished her second roll. “How did you know about Orion’s…unique, eh, condition?”
Lucy finished chewing and then set back a bit, eyes closed in thought.
“My husband told me.”
“Mr. Arteberry knows?” Bri’s eyes widened.
She recalled Charles Arteberry at the wedding. The man who had made advances on both the bride and groom! It had not shocked Bri. Charles was her former brother-in-law, by the viscount Stephen Arteberry. Charles had been just as blatant in his flirtations with Bri in front of his brother as he had been behind his back. Never did Bri recall him mentioning Orion in the past.
“He does know him. But Charles hears many things, Lady Hookwell. He is a sailor after all.”
Bri kept her mouth shut. Charles was the connection between them, after all. Bri’s former brother-in-law and Lucy’s husband. She had trouble deciding who was open to secrets and who was not. Polite society was such a pain.
“He is truly a beautiful person,” was all Bri could say of her husband. “I hope you do not think less of him.”
Lucy’s eyes widened and her voice became shrill, “Think less of him! Why would I? We all love whom we love, dear.”
“So…you are not going to say bad things of him?”
“Why would I, Brigid! He is angelic. Absolutely lovely company!”
Bri was glad to hear her first name from Lucy’s mouth. Perhaps they could drop the formalities now.
Bri sighed in relief. “Oh thank god, Lucy!” she let the tension drain. “I thought you would not understand.”
Lucy rolled her eyes, “We all have our deviances, dear. Or ten, in Charles’ case.”
They laughed quickly at the absent sailor’s expense.
Bri had to ask. “How did Charles find out? Was it the usual gossip in these parts or…”
Lucy bit her lip and looked up into the tree. She was watching a squirrel run about in circles.
“You will have to ask them, I’m afraid. Although I recall…no! I should not tell you that.”
Bri’s eyes were large now. How could she not press for further details?
“The reason I ask…” she looked down at her hands and considered her words, for once. She had the penchant for blurting, but today she would try to behave for Orion’s sake. “I ask because I have noticed distress in my husband. His last man, well, he has passed judgment on Orion for wedding me. He has cut him off. Orion needs…well, he needs something I cannot give him.”
Lucy set her slice of bread down and stopped spreading the marmalade. She became serious, a strange sight for one so full of vibrancy. “He needs a lover?”
Bri nodded. A silence passed in which she laughed. “I figure I should find him one because he is being stubborn. He thinks he can go without it.”
Lucy let out a high laugh and swiped away a tear. “I am trying to imagine Charles saying such a thing,” she explained. “That will be a sign of the end times!”
Bri joined in the laughter. “My muffin is an idealist. He is trying to prove something. Does Charles fancy him? He seemed to at the wedding.”
In fact, she remembered at the reception seeing Charles squeeze Orion’s shoulder once and whisper something in his ear. By Orion’s expression alone, it seemed they had a secret.
Lucy blushed slightly but it cooled and she answered plainly, “Yes. But, Bri, everyone fancies Orion. He is positively adorable.”
Bri agreed, “I know he is. How well do they know each other?”
“They are…acquainted.” Lucy answered. She went back to preparing her snack. “I will ask Charles about it. We should all meet again, perhaps for an outing. You and your husband, and Charles and I. Yes?”
“Here’s to that!” Bri held up her teacup.
© 2011 Luz Briar.

story: Draining the Humor (2)

2- Finding comfort

Three weeks from their wedding, and Orion felt ravaged by his wife. In a good way.
He was tired but he had an excuse to go to bed early and he enjoyed the exhaustion she pushed on him. His only complaint was the tension in his back, seemingly unrelated to the marriage. Brigid Salud had been more than the best choice for a spouse, she was the object of Orion’s deepest affections.
That is why he was so puzzled at the pain in his back. He called on the local doctor for advice and was met instead with some scathing remarks.
“Perhaps you should take a break in the weeks following your honeymoon.”
“A break from what exactly, doctor?” Orion asked, seated in his arm chair. His back was bothering him again. “I don’t do heavy lifting of any sort.”
“From heavy lifting?” the doctor grunted. “Yes, a break from heavy lifting.”
Orion narrowed his eyes at the man. He could not comprehend the amount of disdain people often channeled in his direction. He had never wronged any of the people of Constance, and yet his melodramatic teen years haunted him still.
Sodomy. Transvestite. How I loathe the words.
“For your records, doctor,” Orion spoke up, protecting himself with a layer of coldness. “I have not been heavy lifting and nor have I lifted anything heavy in a while. Assumptions are the twin of ignorance.”
Nor did Orion see how ‘heavy lifting,’ as the doctor called it, would have to do with his back.
“What is wrong with my back, doctor?”
“Tension then,” the older man spoke quickly. “It is tension. It is best to relax for a while. Perhaps you have overstressed yourself.”
“I have been on honeymoon for the past two weeks. What would I be stressed about?”
“That is for you to answer,” the doctor’s tone dropped again, condescending.
“I believe then, I must nip it in the bud and find out the cause.”
“That would be best.”
“Very well.”
“Good.”
Orion hit a bell on the desk, causing the doctor to jump.
His apathy towards medical men sometimes swayed into disgust and right now he did not wish to see the man. The butler appeared at the office door and Orion told him, “Please show the good doctor out.”
He did not even wish to escort the man out. He took a seat back at his desk as he recovered from the doctor’s accusations. He returned to his paperwork but was unable to follow his own strain of thought. As he set the quill back to paper, Bri’s laugh made him jump.
“The doctor was useless, wasn’t he?” she laughed.
He collected himself. “Quite useless. Most of them are…”
“Oh dear. What did he say?” she leaned over him, her face next to his.
“Essentially he accused me of being unfaithful to you and of being a sinful, dirty sodomite.”
“Oh,” she frowned. “Darling, there’s nothing sinful and dirty about you.”
He put his face in his hands and allowed himself to sigh loudly. He felt his wife’s hand in his hair and it calmed him a bit. “I have kept my vow.”
“I know, darling. But there is no need to. I know you love me. I have my own theories about your tension.”
“Enlighten me,” he told her.
To most, it would have sounded cold and sarcastic. But Bri knew Orion and his odd ways of communicating. He was sincere when he asked her opinion.
“You are trying far too hard to prove yourself to be something you are not.”
He thought this over. The shadow of his late father loomed over him daily. The “mad earl,” the deviant and the lunatic. His own youth added to the weight of what it seemed he must disprove. He knew that Bri was making a valid point.
“In any case, Brigid,” he cleared his throat. “Even if I had not made the vow, Lawrence has moved to London and—“
“Bloody Lawrence!” Bri spat.
Her unconscious laugh exploded and she removed the warmth of her body from him. She began to pace.
“Really, Rion! Lawrence! He is bloody ugly and unpleasant!”
Orion righted himself and watched her calmly. He felt the serpent of indignation uncoiling in his stomach, but for now he was quiet. He would allow her to ramble and rant about his former lover.
“You could have any man you want, Orion! And you choose Lawrence! The bugger is worse than me! His teeth try to escape his face! He is mean-spirited and ugly. He is a donkey!”
“Brigid—“
“A Donkey, Orion! A donkey!”
“That’s quite enough!” he stood and pushed the desk chair in.
He was remaining quiet by an act of will. This was a fresh wound and he did not feel up to inspecting it right this moment.
Bri hung her head, her large eyes full of guilt. “I’m sorry…I just don’t like him. He talks to you as if you are an idiot. And you could have any man you want.”
He did not want to dwell on it.
You have chosen the SAFE path, is what Lawrence had told Orion when he asked his lover, in person, to attend the wedding. Lawrence had sneered at him and cut off all contact.
Orion rushed to the privacy of his own bedchamber and locked the door. Bri knew better than to follow right away. He wanted the silence.
“The safe path…” he breathed, leaned against the door. “Sodomite. Safe path.”
The dualities struck him like dissonance on a harpsichord. Either he was a filthy degenerate or he was the coward.
**
An hour passed and Orion felt ready to speak to others again. His momentary melancholy usually lasted and hour or so, sometimes a day, and on bad times up to weeks.
Today, he was fortunate.
He immerged outside for fresh air and found Bri seated at the pond, feeding the swans. Her favorite drake, Muffin, was seated beside her like a loyal dog. His mate Crumpet was waddling about with her gaggle of babies. One of them Bri had in her lap.
When she noticed Orion, her brow was furrowed, “His wing is hurt, Orion. Look at it. It is crooked.”
The funny-looking baby animal stared up at Orion. He knelt down beside his wife. “Mini Muffin…perhaps he needs a cast. We have books in the library about animal care. I have heard their wings can heal.”
“It looks deformed.”
Muffin nipped at Bri’s ear, as if grateful. Orion stroked the birds head softly. “Do not fret, Bri. We will make him comfortable…”
(A/N: Comment/Response PLEASE. i have no way of thanking you if you remain anonymous!)
©2011 Luz Briar.

Vestal, Village: art & poem

"Faith"

Vestal, Village

"Vestal, the village
The village, go there
And take the heads of four villagers in the square
Do this for four months
Vigorously
And do not ask why
This I command of thee."

But, Vesta, this is not in my vows
Why would I sever innocent crowns
"Because I say to do so now
Should you disobey, my wrath rains down"

They are still living then
After the severing
The blood trail
Behind my sandals
Some of their tears,
Mingling
My goddess, the heads still cry
And yet they do not curse my soul

"The faces forever cry
Because, again, I say so."
(c)2010 LuzBriar (HollieHolmes)