You Heard Right!
And why yes! That is a custom domain!
Once and awhile over here I will be updating on what's going down over 'yon custom domain Profane Tales & Comics. But for the most part this blog is for my writing and non-profane artwork.
Coming soon will be blogging about my misadventures into being a Renaissance Woman (a person of many creative interests) in the 21st century and, of course, the Possession Flicks reviews.
Stay tuned and hold onto your arses. They are inventing guillotines just for chopping them off.
PS- Not really. The author is using the tactic of fear mongering in order to draw readers in.
Or is she...
The Arse Guillotine Illustrations Pending.
Showing posts with label profanities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label profanities. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Comics: "Smooth"
Friday, October 17, 2014
Profane Comics: "Beware the Queenly Booty"
Monday, October 13, 2014
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle" Index & All Pages!
Puck's excessive drinking finally causes the Royal family to speak up. A mostly light-hearted 17-pager establishing their quirky relationship.
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Links to Pages:
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
ALL PAGES (click to enlarge them!)
Thanks for reading, folks! Look for a Halloween comic coming soon! <3
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Links to Pages:
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Finale
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
ALL PAGES (click to enlarge them!)
![]() |
Fairy King confronts Puck about his excessive revelry. |
![]() |
Fairy King is tired of your shit, Puck! |
![]() |
Puck goes to see the royal doctor. |
![]() |
Tension abounds as Puck shows off his new invention. |
![]() |
The Fairy King enlists his Sprites to keep an eye on Puck today. |
![]() |
Puck wanders into the Fairy Queen's secret spa and interrupts a seduction. |
![]() |
Puck flees the Sprites in bird form while the Queen accidentally K.O.'s her mortal lover. |
![]() |
Puck hides in Princess Rue's garden while the Sprites search for him. |
![]() |
Rue tells her father where Puck is but his hearing fails him. Meanwhile the Sprites are being a pain in her ass. |
![]() |
Rue tries to coax Puck out the bird house but Gugu ruins the moment. |
![]() |
The Fairy Queen and the royal doctor discuss Puck and the King's relationship. |
![]() |
The King discovers Puck outside the castle again. |
![]() |
And then this happens! |
![]() | |||
The King comforts Puck and enchants him to sleep. |
![]() |
The Royals are understanding of Puck's condition. |
![]() |
The blessing of a peaceful sleep. |
![]() |
Meanwhile... |
The End! |
Labels:
addiction,
Captain Gugu,
cute,
fae,
fairlands,
humor,
King of Fae,
magic,
profane comics,
profanities,
Puck,
puckadoodle,
queen of fae,
relationships,
Rue,
sprites
Friday, October 10, 2014
Profane Comis: Puckadoodle (Finale!)
![]() |
Page 16. CLICK TO ENLARGE. |
![]() |
PAGE 17. CLICK TO ENLARGE. |
THE END! Thanks for Reading! |
That's it for this one, folks. More to come soon! Remember to please share/like/comment if you enjoyed this. <2
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9, Page 10, Page 11, Page 12, Page 13, Page 14, Page 15
Gelding and Friends also have a Tumblr! Or check out my Facebook, Twitter and DeviantArt.
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Labels:
addiction,
Captain Gugu,
comedy,
cute,
fae,
fairlands,
fantasy,
fool,
humor,
King of Fae,
magic,
profane comics,
profanities,
prose,
Puck,
puckadoodle,
queen of fae,
relationships,
Rue
Monday, October 6, 2014
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle" Page 15
![]() |
Click to ENLARGE. |
Finale on Friday!
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9, Page 10, Page 11, Page 12, Page 13, Page 14
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle" Page 14
![]() | |
CLICK TO ENLARGE! |
Page 15 on Monday!
Thanks so much for your patience, folks. What do you think about the magic "special effects?"
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9, Page 10, Page 11, Page 12, Page 13
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Profane Comics- Puckadoodle Pg 13
![]() |
CLICK TO ENLARGE. Page 13. |
This is what happens when Puck reaches his drinking limit.
So sorry for the delay! Finally back on a roll and more pages to come. We aren't done yet. 14, 15, 16 and 17 coming soon. Check back Friday!
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9, Page 10, Page 11, Page 12
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Profane Tales: Puckless!
1
"TYRANT!" Puck exclaimed.
"NANNY GOAT!" the King's voice overpowered all else. Winds were building and all subjects were trembling at the outburst.
All except for Puck. The King's secretary was enraged, his nostrils flaring and his ears folded back. He seemed moments away from charging at the other fairy.
A particular fairy among the company, a pot-bellied, amphibian-looking thing with flowers for ears...could not help but admire the secretary’s courage in the face of the fearsome Fairy King. She only feared for his life. Hibiscus turned from a neutral gray to a frightened reddish color.
"There is no talking to you sometimes. It's like trying to reason with a pile of rocks!"
"Retract that blasphemy and apologize!" the King commanded,stomping his foot. The ground shook. The little fairy in the crowd needed to hold onto a companion to keep from falling.
"Instead I retract and swap for another statement. Bugger yourself!" the secretary bit his thumb and threw down the bag he carried with notes and tools.
"What didst thou say!" the King growled.
Puck folded his arms and walked towards the exit of the thorny castle. He kicked it open the door with a hoof and was gone.
"Do not bother returning until you learn a modicum of RESPECT for thy King!" the King exclaimed. He growled and stomped a foot again and the fairies present huddled together, trembling.
"Straighten!" he snapped, causing all of them to go pole-straight.
His searing eyes scanned the crowd. When they fell upon the little chubby fairy, she needed to make an effort not to gasp.
"Hibiscus!" he gestured for her. "You have worked under Robin.Come! You shall serve his position until he comes to his senses."
"Y-y-yes, Your Majesty," she bowed and scuttled over to her superior’s discarded items. She lifted them and peeked inside. Hibiscus could hear her companions’ whisper their horror to see the young one in Goodfellow's position.Surely, she would falter and it would cost her limb or life...
"What marked he next upon to-day's schedule?"
Hibby squinted to read Puck’s writing. "There is trouble in the swamps, it seems."
"Details?" he asked.
"I do not know, Your Majesty. He did not say w-w-what on here."
"Consult the notes!"
"Directly," she gulped and dug through Puck's notes. They were scattered and followed no order that she could understand. Her heart sunk."Y-y-your Majesty, I apologize profusely. But I cannot seem to find any notes pertaining to this particular conflict."
She found him peering down at her, fangs bared. He lifted his head and righted his posture. "Ah, you can hardly be blamed for his disheveled purse. Let us be off then to discover the issue personally. Your wings function?" he asked.
She flapped her small, dragonfly-like wings. "I do fly, Your Highness. But not swiftly."
"What?" he asked, cupping an ear. She had forgotten that his hearing was unreliable. Puck always covered the awkward moments with jests.
"I said, yes, Your Majesty. But not swiftly!"
“What?” he exclaimed. It was like watching a firework go off when he snapped his fingers and silenced all else present.Once again, he asked “What didst thou say, young Hibiscus? Slur not!”
“I can fly but not swiftly!” she exclaimed.
"Simply make an attempt not to fall behind." He shrugged.
He led the way outside and Hibby scuttled after him. The King's black wings began to pick up speed the moment they were outside. They flapped up wind and nearly blew Hibby backwards and back through the castle doors. But she held to the ground and followed after, her wings lifting her from the ground. How had the day come to this? She kept repeating to herself that this was not the end of her life.
2
Hibby's Notes: Day One Without Puck.
I believe I am already failing at this endeavor. Not a moment into the task and I believe I have fallen short of the King's needs. The first thing I noticed upon greeting him was that his appearance was...off. Though I could not finger what it was at the time, I realized it was his crown missing. He must have forgotten it without Puck to remind him. No one can blame a trivial thing like this to him, for he has countless other duties.(A fact that made itself glaringly obvious to me to-day). He was speaking to himself when I entered and I paid this no mind because it is well known among the court that he does this and that it is best not to interrupt.
He snapped his fingers when I entered and held a hand out as if waiting for something.
"Y-your Majesty...?" I did not know what it was h wanted.
He shook his head, apparently leaving his own thoughts. "Ah. Agenda, Hibiscus. Today's agenda."
"Ah, yes." I dug in Puck's bag, which I had reorganized last night so that it would be manageable for me. Still, when I handed His Majesty the list,he cocked his head. It reminded me of the movement a feline makes when a toy is taken from it.
"This is High Noon's to-do list. Not an agenda. Did he show you where those were?" he asked.
I was mortified that he sounded agitated. I so wanted to make Puck proud and I fear the King. We all do.
"N-not that I recall, Your Majesty."
He gave a sweeping gesture to the room across the hall. "The library.Come. I may as well show you."
I walked ahead, doing my utmost not to tremble while I held the door open for him. When I caught up he was gesturing to an entire shelve of scrolls. My heart all but deflated. I had not learned this! But the King did not seem to take note. He stood, reticent and with eyes fixed on the scrolls. "Do make haste. Their alignment mocks me..."
It hit my ears like a warning. Whatever it may mean, I did not want to find out. I hurried to the scrolls and began to sift through to find today's agenda.Of course they were out of order and in Puck's usual organized chaos.
Eventually I did find today's schedule and hopefully the key to navigating that shelf. It seemed to be alphabetized backwards according to one of the older dialects of the elders. It is a language I only know passably.
But by the time I brought the King the scroll, he was glaring at the shelf.
"Is there something the matter, Your Highness?"
"Look at it!" he growled. I backed up into the shelf, causing scrolls to fall.
I loathe myself when I am so easily frightened. Especially when it leads to these small defeats. The scrolls that fell on me did little to hide my fears.
"Never mind..." I heard him grumble as he stomped away.
"Should I clean this?" I called out.
"Leave it to the maids!"
From there the day only digressed.
At high noon, the King did strike one royal guard with the back of his hand. It sent the unnamed guard flying and he was dismissed for the remainder of the day. I am not at liberty to discuss why the King struck him but I will say the guard overstepped his boundaries while speaking to the Princess Rue. Puck has warned me time and again that the King can be volatile, so I should not count this against myself. I see this as my failure for not preventing the situation.Puck would have known how to diffuse the tension.
Though he seemed more ill-tempered than usual throughout the day and growing impatient with my timid nature, nothing truly horrid happened until about an hour ago.
Though the King recently dismissed me to organize my notes, I was called out of Puck's study by a maid. She told me that she and the other servants could not remove the King from the library. I could not imagine how I would possibly remove him if numerous other fairies could not. I am about as stern and fierce as a litter of newborn rabbits. Regardless, I could not slack on my duties and Puck would surely know how to handle this!
But I was ill-prepared.
What I found was the King in the library and scrolls strewn about. He seemed to be frantically reordering the scrolls. I could almost imagine an hour glass running out as he scrambled to put the scrolls in order. But most puzzling tome was that he seemed to be measuring how far each stuck out. His wings were even flapping, a sign of distress.
"Your...Majesty?"
"Behold! This row is even. See? Yet the others, I cannot seem to--"
"They do not have...to be even, Your Majesty."
" Of course they do! It must all be the same!"
"He's been doing this for three hours," the maid beside me whispered.
I had to conjure up my best imitation of Puck's levity and charm. "Your Majesty, that can wait for the morning."
"Nonsense. I have no need for sleep."
Oh dear. What would Puck say to that?
"You deserve sleep, though..."
He froze, twitching slightly. "What time have you on the clock?"
I told him and he set a hand to his forehead, eyes shut tight. It was a pained expression. "Three hours behind schedule. Three. THREE!"
I do not think any of us were prepared for what occurred next.
"Burn it," he commanded
I gasped. "The whole shelf?"
"Yes, do it by morning and bury the ashes. It is tainted."
I recalled then what Puck had warned me of. The number three. That was the King's one great fear. I should not have revealed the time to him.
"Surely, Your Majesty," a maid spoke up, "we could wash it instead. A whole new shelf--"
The King flew cracked his foot into the shelf, cracking it neatly in the middle.
"It is broken. Burn it and do not recycle the ashes."
He left us with that. I had seen erratic behavior from His Majesty before but not of this nature.
Here's to hoping that Puck returns by morning. I am afraid I am not ready for this kind of responsibility!
3Hibby's Notes: Day Two Without PuckI did my utmost, I swear! I did all I could to stop His Majesty from handling this personally.
I told him "No, Your Majesty, a mortal woman would not be ready to behold your radiance!" "Your Majesty, isn't this too small a matter for your concern?" "Your Majesty, please!"
But he insisted upon seeing this through PERSONALLY.
What a disaster.
It was discovered that a changeling was recently swapped for a human infant.This is not uncommon, obviously. But Puck warned me that the King is especially concerned with matters concerning the young (both mortal and fae). So we took the trip to the mortal woman's home. When we stood before the woman she was understandably altered in mood. She appeared to be in a state of torpor until we arrived and His Majesty decided that stealth was not necessary.
He made a grand entrance, causing the mortal woman to drop the pile of logs she had been carrying. Her screams summoned her husband to us and he yielded an axe.
I hope I did right by throwing sleep dust at the both of them. They plopped to the ground as fast as their logs.
"I suppose she was not ready," the King mumbled. "Fast thinking,Hibiscus."
I would be lying if I said I was not flattered. I blushed and hid my countenance from anyone for the next hour. But we were able to find the changeling. He was seated upright and awaiting us. He must have heard us from outside. How old he was, I could not tell. Nor what kind of fae he was but I saw that he had been mistreated by his humans. He had the appearance of a human babe but the demeanor of someone far older. As the King went to touch him he pulled away.
"What is the matter, Your Majesty?"
He waved his hand and I read such a gesture to mean that I was to carry the little one. It almost seemed as if the King was unnerved by it. But of course I did not ask why.
Now I know that those two mortals will wake and tell horror stories of seeing at all, darkly clad fae with a crown. This is precisely why he has Puck in his service! To speak him out of making appearances in the old world. Mortals can only handle so much...before they begin to go into hysterics. We all know that he likes his pranks, but outright hysteria will not do.
Again, he was ornery with the court and broke into an argument with the Queen towards sundown when he rose.
He seems to be jumping at the slightest provocation.
But at least I managed to keep him out of the library today...
The new shelf will be installed tomorrow. For now I am keeping the scrolls safe in a trunk. Tomorrow is supposed to be a day of paper work. I have never been so excited to hear that there will be nothing to do!
Where are you, Puck?
4
HIBBY'S NOTES: THIRD DAY WITHOUT PUCK
FAILURE! Utter and complete failure to perform my work! Not only is the King falling apart,his crown lost, several doors off their hinges, cracks in the floor where he has stomped them to death, and the court in a panic, but now Her Majesty joins in the madness.
To-day, the Royals met with an official and the King was storming so madly that nothing could be done to help it. Her Majesty the Queen had set about translating his ravings as best as she could. With the magic that spouses possess from years of marriage, she was able to make sense of prose but only to a point.
I hid in the corner to take notes. That is what I do best, after all.
Finally the Queen threw up her arms and stomped and grunted. It is rare to see her lose her calm.
"Enough!" said she, "I will no longer be your translator! That is what you hired Puck for! I am your Queen, not your secretary!”
She was gone in an instant and the trembling official begged to be released from the conference. The King did not dismiss him but marched in the opposite direction.
At last it was only the official and I who remained, united in our fear.
I have searched everywhere. I cannot find the King.
I have lost him. I have LOST THE KING!
I had ONE TASK.
To serve the King in Puck's absence.
And I have failed.
Gods preserve us! We need Puck!
5
Elsewhere in a less magical place, the King’s secretary sat peering into a pond. He watched his own tears join the water there while, by his side, a Unicorn listened with no particular interest.
"By his side constantly! He destroys something, I fix it! He takes, I give. And yet... for each flaw he has, I see it water ten more virtues that grow in its place. The garden..." he held back a sob "chokes the weeds that try to strive there. How can I hate him? "
The Unicorn watched the fae and sighed. "You love him. It sounds to me as though you are incapable of hating him, Goodfellow. Have you... eh, ever thought of--"
"Of what? Quitting his side?" Puck asked. "I...I have considered retiring one day. But then I realize...who I am thinking of. Nobody has ever truly believed in me the way he has. He found me when I was a force of clamoring chaos and gave me order."
"Funny then that you are the one to give him order," the Unicorn yawned.
"That is just the way life works," Puck shrugged and blew his nose. "Being away from him for only three days has left me out of sorts. I can do it, but thinking that he loathes me causes me more pain than I am able to express."
"You have expressed here, at length, more than I have wished to know," the Unicorn assured him. Then, with a knowing look "Are you...eh, bedfellows?"
Puck stared at the Unicorn as though he had sprouted extra heads. "Me? In the royal bed! You jest!" he laughed. "I am not worthy--"
The Unicorn yawned again, interrupting Puck's self-depreciation. "Sure."
"You don’t believe me?"
"Well, I don’t care enough to probe into the matter deeper. But I would have assumed you two were bedfellows if not told otherwise.'"
"Is this the set up to a joke, Unicorn? He is not the kind of King that does that sort of thing with his servants. The Queen, however, well that-- "he paused. The Unicorn could probably see Puck's thoughts speed. "Wait a moment. How many days did I say it was?"
"Three, Goodfellow. Three days, including the nine hours or so you have been rambling to me."
"Three! God’s wounds! I need to get back to him!" The fae jumped to his hooves and shook them of dirt. He shed the human-like form for the form of a bird. But as he went to fly, he could not seem to lift off in a straight line.
The Unicorn groaned. "Oh for the love-- Come here. You are drunk, mongrel.”
The four-legged beast lightly nabbed the bird’s wing and slung it onto his back. “I will take you back to the Fairlands. Hold on.”
"You do us great service!” Puck exclaimed.
“I simply do not want another war breaking out in the Fairlands. That King of yours has a temper and ought to try to find a hobby."
6
All in the Fairy Court had turned in early, as the Queen had sounded an alarm.When Puck and the Unicorn walked the halls, not a soul was stirring. But nearing the library Puck could smell the flowery scent of his assistant Hibiscus.
"I see you there, Hibby. Sweet Mabd, what are you doing?"
Two eyes appeared first, blinking on the wall until Hibby's camouflage faded and she appeared in a shade of blue. Her head was hung, her voice hoarse from weeping. "...I failed you, Puck."
"Oh, pish-posh." He conjured up a handkerchief and wiped her eyes."What is all this nonsense? It isn't the kind I like."
"The King..." she whispered. "He is in the library. I was standing guard. I have tried to speak sense into him, Puck. He is inconsolable."
"Raving or maudlin?" he asked.
"The latter," she replied. "You have brought the Unicorn?"It brought a smile to her face to see the majestic beast. The Unicorn was glad to allow the fairy maiden to pet him. Meanwhile, Puck poked his head into the library. He looked about to find it in shambles. Nothing of the order remained.But what was most unnerving was the attempt at re-stacking and re-shelving that failed so miserably.
The servant found his King sitting in a most uncharacteristic slump. He had an old skull in his hand, rolling it about like a saddened child.
Puck cleared his voice. "Ahem..."
The King started. He rose instantly at the sight of his secretary."Robin..."
"Your Majesty."
Their stiff stances melted as they embraced. Puck held onto him extra long and rubbed his back. They had known one another so long that the servant could detect when the King was truly sad, despite any attempts at hiding it. "I am sorry I stayed away so long..."
"You...took holiday. It was well-earned," the King replied. He combed Puck's hair back in affection.
It was brief but their faces remained inches apart and for a moment Puck thought the King would kiss him. But the taller fae straightened when he noticed the Unicorn and Hibby watching. With a grand gesture towards the library, he announced, "This is to be reorganized tomorrow. No servant is to work tonight." His way of apologizing indirectly. He still left a hand on Puck's shoulder as he spoke, which gladdened him.
"Your Majesty," Hibby spoke up "There is a list I must show you if you would like to see it now."
"Yes, that would suffice."
As the King and Hibby exited, the Unicorn remained.
Puck's ears had lowered and his expression sobered. The Unicorn nodded towards him "Some day."
“Some day what?” he asked.
The Unicorn did not remain to explain. The sound of hooves clicking on the floor preceded silence while the secretary was left to think over this.
"TYRANT!" Puck exclaimed.
"NANNY GOAT!" the King's voice overpowered all else. Winds were building and all subjects were trembling at the outburst.
All except for Puck. The King's secretary was enraged, his nostrils flaring and his ears folded back. He seemed moments away from charging at the other fairy.
A particular fairy among the company, a pot-bellied, amphibian-looking thing with flowers for ears...could not help but admire the secretary’s courage in the face of the fearsome Fairy King. She only feared for his life. Hibiscus turned from a neutral gray to a frightened reddish color.
"There is no talking to you sometimes. It's like trying to reason with a pile of rocks!"
"Retract that blasphemy and apologize!" the King commanded,stomping his foot. The ground shook. The little fairy in the crowd needed to hold onto a companion to keep from falling.
"Instead I retract and swap for another statement. Bugger yourself!" the secretary bit his thumb and threw down the bag he carried with notes and tools.
"What didst thou say!" the King growled.
Puck folded his arms and walked towards the exit of the thorny castle. He kicked it open the door with a hoof and was gone.
"Do not bother returning until you learn a modicum of RESPECT for thy King!" the King exclaimed. He growled and stomped a foot again and the fairies present huddled together, trembling.
"Straighten!" he snapped, causing all of them to go pole-straight.
His searing eyes scanned the crowd. When they fell upon the little chubby fairy, she needed to make an effort not to gasp.
"Hibiscus!" he gestured for her. "You have worked under Robin.Come! You shall serve his position until he comes to his senses."
"Y-y-yes, Your Majesty," she bowed and scuttled over to her superior’s discarded items. She lifted them and peeked inside. Hibiscus could hear her companions’ whisper their horror to see the young one in Goodfellow's position.Surely, she would falter and it would cost her limb or life...
"What marked he next upon to-day's schedule?"
Hibby squinted to read Puck’s writing. "There is trouble in the swamps, it seems."
"Details?" he asked.
"I do not know, Your Majesty. He did not say w-w-what on here."
"Consult the notes!"
"Directly," she gulped and dug through Puck's notes. They were scattered and followed no order that she could understand. Her heart sunk."Y-y-your Majesty, I apologize profusely. But I cannot seem to find any notes pertaining to this particular conflict."
She found him peering down at her, fangs bared. He lifted his head and righted his posture. "Ah, you can hardly be blamed for his disheveled purse. Let us be off then to discover the issue personally. Your wings function?" he asked.
She flapped her small, dragonfly-like wings. "I do fly, Your Highness. But not swiftly."
"What?" he asked, cupping an ear. She had forgotten that his hearing was unreliable. Puck always covered the awkward moments with jests.
"I said, yes, Your Majesty. But not swiftly!"
“What?” he exclaimed. It was like watching a firework go off when he snapped his fingers and silenced all else present.Once again, he asked “What didst thou say, young Hibiscus? Slur not!”
“I can fly but not swiftly!” she exclaimed.
"Simply make an attempt not to fall behind." He shrugged.
He led the way outside and Hibby scuttled after him. The King's black wings began to pick up speed the moment they were outside. They flapped up wind and nearly blew Hibby backwards and back through the castle doors. But she held to the ground and followed after, her wings lifting her from the ground. How had the day come to this? She kept repeating to herself that this was not the end of her life.
2
Hibby's Notes: Day One Without Puck.
I believe I am already failing at this endeavor. Not a moment into the task and I believe I have fallen short of the King's needs. The first thing I noticed upon greeting him was that his appearance was...off. Though I could not finger what it was at the time, I realized it was his crown missing. He must have forgotten it without Puck to remind him. No one can blame a trivial thing like this to him, for he has countless other duties.(A fact that made itself glaringly obvious to me to-day). He was speaking to himself when I entered and I paid this no mind because it is well known among the court that he does this and that it is best not to interrupt.
He snapped his fingers when I entered and held a hand out as if waiting for something.
"Y-your Majesty...?" I did not know what it was h wanted.
He shook his head, apparently leaving his own thoughts. "Ah. Agenda, Hibiscus. Today's agenda."
"Ah, yes." I dug in Puck's bag, which I had reorganized last night so that it would be manageable for me. Still, when I handed His Majesty the list,he cocked his head. It reminded me of the movement a feline makes when a toy is taken from it.
"This is High Noon's to-do list. Not an agenda. Did he show you where those were?" he asked.
I was mortified that he sounded agitated. I so wanted to make Puck proud and I fear the King. We all do.
"N-not that I recall, Your Majesty."
He gave a sweeping gesture to the room across the hall. "The library.Come. I may as well show you."
I walked ahead, doing my utmost not to tremble while I held the door open for him. When I caught up he was gesturing to an entire shelve of scrolls. My heart all but deflated. I had not learned this! But the King did not seem to take note. He stood, reticent and with eyes fixed on the scrolls. "Do make haste. Their alignment mocks me..."
It hit my ears like a warning. Whatever it may mean, I did not want to find out. I hurried to the scrolls and began to sift through to find today's agenda.Of course they were out of order and in Puck's usual organized chaos.
Eventually I did find today's schedule and hopefully the key to navigating that shelf. It seemed to be alphabetized backwards according to one of the older dialects of the elders. It is a language I only know passably.
But by the time I brought the King the scroll, he was glaring at the shelf.
"Is there something the matter, Your Highness?"
"Look at it!" he growled. I backed up into the shelf, causing scrolls to fall.
I loathe myself when I am so easily frightened. Especially when it leads to these small defeats. The scrolls that fell on me did little to hide my fears.
"Never mind..." I heard him grumble as he stomped away.
"Should I clean this?" I called out.
"Leave it to the maids!"
From there the day only digressed.
At high noon, the King did strike one royal guard with the back of his hand. It sent the unnamed guard flying and he was dismissed for the remainder of the day. I am not at liberty to discuss why the King struck him but I will say the guard overstepped his boundaries while speaking to the Princess Rue. Puck has warned me time and again that the King can be volatile, so I should not count this against myself. I see this as my failure for not preventing the situation.Puck would have known how to diffuse the tension.
Though he seemed more ill-tempered than usual throughout the day and growing impatient with my timid nature, nothing truly horrid happened until about an hour ago.
Though the King recently dismissed me to organize my notes, I was called out of Puck's study by a maid. She told me that she and the other servants could not remove the King from the library. I could not imagine how I would possibly remove him if numerous other fairies could not. I am about as stern and fierce as a litter of newborn rabbits. Regardless, I could not slack on my duties and Puck would surely know how to handle this!
But I was ill-prepared.
What I found was the King in the library and scrolls strewn about. He seemed to be frantically reordering the scrolls. I could almost imagine an hour glass running out as he scrambled to put the scrolls in order. But most puzzling tome was that he seemed to be measuring how far each stuck out. His wings were even flapping, a sign of distress.
"Your...Majesty?"
"Behold! This row is even. See? Yet the others, I cannot seem to--"
"They do not have...to be even, Your Majesty."
" Of course they do! It must all be the same!"
"He's been doing this for three hours," the maid beside me whispered.
I had to conjure up my best imitation of Puck's levity and charm. "Your Majesty, that can wait for the morning."
"Nonsense. I have no need for sleep."
Oh dear. What would Puck say to that?
"You deserve sleep, though..."
He froze, twitching slightly. "What time have you on the clock?"
I told him and he set a hand to his forehead, eyes shut tight. It was a pained expression. "Three hours behind schedule. Three. THREE!"
I do not think any of us were prepared for what occurred next.
"Burn it," he commanded
I gasped. "The whole shelf?"
"Yes, do it by morning and bury the ashes. It is tainted."
I recalled then what Puck had warned me of. The number three. That was the King's one great fear. I should not have revealed the time to him.
"Surely, Your Majesty," a maid spoke up, "we could wash it instead. A whole new shelf--"
The King flew cracked his foot into the shelf, cracking it neatly in the middle.
"It is broken. Burn it and do not recycle the ashes."
He left us with that. I had seen erratic behavior from His Majesty before but not of this nature.
Here's to hoping that Puck returns by morning. I am afraid I am not ready for this kind of responsibility!
3Hibby's Notes: Day Two Without PuckI did my utmost, I swear! I did all I could to stop His Majesty from handling this personally.
I told him "No, Your Majesty, a mortal woman would not be ready to behold your radiance!" "Your Majesty, isn't this too small a matter for your concern?" "Your Majesty, please!"
But he insisted upon seeing this through PERSONALLY.
What a disaster.
It was discovered that a changeling was recently swapped for a human infant.This is not uncommon, obviously. But Puck warned me that the King is especially concerned with matters concerning the young (both mortal and fae). So we took the trip to the mortal woman's home. When we stood before the woman she was understandably altered in mood. She appeared to be in a state of torpor until we arrived and His Majesty decided that stealth was not necessary.
He made a grand entrance, causing the mortal woman to drop the pile of logs she had been carrying. Her screams summoned her husband to us and he yielded an axe.
I hope I did right by throwing sleep dust at the both of them. They plopped to the ground as fast as their logs.
"I suppose she was not ready," the King mumbled. "Fast thinking,Hibiscus."
I would be lying if I said I was not flattered. I blushed and hid my countenance from anyone for the next hour. But we were able to find the changeling. He was seated upright and awaiting us. He must have heard us from outside. How old he was, I could not tell. Nor what kind of fae he was but I saw that he had been mistreated by his humans. He had the appearance of a human babe but the demeanor of someone far older. As the King went to touch him he pulled away.
"What is the matter, Your Majesty?"
He waved his hand and I read such a gesture to mean that I was to carry the little one. It almost seemed as if the King was unnerved by it. But of course I did not ask why.
Now I know that those two mortals will wake and tell horror stories of seeing at all, darkly clad fae with a crown. This is precisely why he has Puck in his service! To speak him out of making appearances in the old world. Mortals can only handle so much...before they begin to go into hysterics. We all know that he likes his pranks, but outright hysteria will not do.
Again, he was ornery with the court and broke into an argument with the Queen towards sundown when he rose.
He seems to be jumping at the slightest provocation.
But at least I managed to keep him out of the library today...
The new shelf will be installed tomorrow. For now I am keeping the scrolls safe in a trunk. Tomorrow is supposed to be a day of paper work. I have never been so excited to hear that there will be nothing to do!
Where are you, Puck?
4
HIBBY'S NOTES: THIRD DAY WITHOUT PUCK
FAILURE! Utter and complete failure to perform my work! Not only is the King falling apart,his crown lost, several doors off their hinges, cracks in the floor where he has stomped them to death, and the court in a panic, but now Her Majesty joins in the madness.
To-day, the Royals met with an official and the King was storming so madly that nothing could be done to help it. Her Majesty the Queen had set about translating his ravings as best as she could. With the magic that spouses possess from years of marriage, she was able to make sense of prose but only to a point.
I hid in the corner to take notes. That is what I do best, after all.
Finally the Queen threw up her arms and stomped and grunted. It is rare to see her lose her calm.
"Enough!" said she, "I will no longer be your translator! That is what you hired Puck for! I am your Queen, not your secretary!”
She was gone in an instant and the trembling official begged to be released from the conference. The King did not dismiss him but marched in the opposite direction.
At last it was only the official and I who remained, united in our fear.
I have searched everywhere. I cannot find the King.
I have lost him. I have LOST THE KING!
I had ONE TASK.
To serve the King in Puck's absence.
And I have failed.
Gods preserve us! We need Puck!
5
Elsewhere in a less magical place, the King’s secretary sat peering into a pond. He watched his own tears join the water there while, by his side, a Unicorn listened with no particular interest.
"By his side constantly! He destroys something, I fix it! He takes, I give. And yet... for each flaw he has, I see it water ten more virtues that grow in its place. The garden..." he held back a sob "chokes the weeds that try to strive there. How can I hate him? "
The Unicorn watched the fae and sighed. "You love him. It sounds to me as though you are incapable of hating him, Goodfellow. Have you... eh, ever thought of--"
"Of what? Quitting his side?" Puck asked. "I...I have considered retiring one day. But then I realize...who I am thinking of. Nobody has ever truly believed in me the way he has. He found me when I was a force of clamoring chaos and gave me order."
"Funny then that you are the one to give him order," the Unicorn yawned.
"That is just the way life works," Puck shrugged and blew his nose. "Being away from him for only three days has left me out of sorts. I can do it, but thinking that he loathes me causes me more pain than I am able to express."
"You have expressed here, at length, more than I have wished to know," the Unicorn assured him. Then, with a knowing look "Are you...eh, bedfellows?"
Puck stared at the Unicorn as though he had sprouted extra heads. "Me? In the royal bed! You jest!" he laughed. "I am not worthy--"
The Unicorn yawned again, interrupting Puck's self-depreciation. "Sure."
"You don’t believe me?"
"Well, I don’t care enough to probe into the matter deeper. But I would have assumed you two were bedfellows if not told otherwise.'"
"Is this the set up to a joke, Unicorn? He is not the kind of King that does that sort of thing with his servants. The Queen, however, well that-- "he paused. The Unicorn could probably see Puck's thoughts speed. "Wait a moment. How many days did I say it was?"
"Three, Goodfellow. Three days, including the nine hours or so you have been rambling to me."
"Three! God’s wounds! I need to get back to him!" The fae jumped to his hooves and shook them of dirt. He shed the human-like form for the form of a bird. But as he went to fly, he could not seem to lift off in a straight line.
The Unicorn groaned. "Oh for the love-- Come here. You are drunk, mongrel.”
The four-legged beast lightly nabbed the bird’s wing and slung it onto his back. “I will take you back to the Fairlands. Hold on.”
"You do us great service!” Puck exclaimed.
“I simply do not want another war breaking out in the Fairlands. That King of yours has a temper and ought to try to find a hobby."
6
All in the Fairy Court had turned in early, as the Queen had sounded an alarm.When Puck and the Unicorn walked the halls, not a soul was stirring. But nearing the library Puck could smell the flowery scent of his assistant Hibiscus.
"I see you there, Hibby. Sweet Mabd, what are you doing?"
Two eyes appeared first, blinking on the wall until Hibby's camouflage faded and she appeared in a shade of blue. Her head was hung, her voice hoarse from weeping. "...I failed you, Puck."
"Oh, pish-posh." He conjured up a handkerchief and wiped her eyes."What is all this nonsense? It isn't the kind I like."
"The King..." she whispered. "He is in the library. I was standing guard. I have tried to speak sense into him, Puck. He is inconsolable."
"Raving or maudlin?" he asked.
"The latter," she replied. "You have brought the Unicorn?"It brought a smile to her face to see the majestic beast. The Unicorn was glad to allow the fairy maiden to pet him. Meanwhile, Puck poked his head into the library. He looked about to find it in shambles. Nothing of the order remained.But what was most unnerving was the attempt at re-stacking and re-shelving that failed so miserably.
The servant found his King sitting in a most uncharacteristic slump. He had an old skull in his hand, rolling it about like a saddened child.
Puck cleared his voice. "Ahem..."
The King started. He rose instantly at the sight of his secretary."Robin..."
"Your Majesty."
Their stiff stances melted as they embraced. Puck held onto him extra long and rubbed his back. They had known one another so long that the servant could detect when the King was truly sad, despite any attempts at hiding it. "I am sorry I stayed away so long..."
"You...took holiday. It was well-earned," the King replied. He combed Puck's hair back in affection.
It was brief but their faces remained inches apart and for a moment Puck thought the King would kiss him. But the taller fae straightened when he noticed the Unicorn and Hibby watching. With a grand gesture towards the library, he announced, "This is to be reorganized tomorrow. No servant is to work tonight." His way of apologizing indirectly. He still left a hand on Puck's shoulder as he spoke, which gladdened him.
"Your Majesty," Hibby spoke up "There is a list I must show you if you would like to see it now."
"Yes, that would suffice."
As the King and Hibby exited, the Unicorn remained.
Puck's ears had lowered and his expression sobered. The Unicorn nodded towards him "Some day."
“Some day what?” he asked.
The Unicorn did not remain to explain. The sound of hooves clicking on the floor preceded silence while the secretary was left to think over this.
Labels:
anxiety,
comedy,
fae,
fairlands,
fantasy,
fiction,
Gelding,
hibiscus,
King of Fae,
magic,
mental illness,
OCD,
profane tales,
profanities,
Puck,
relationships,
short story
Friday, September 19, 2014
artwork: If we shadows have offended...
Monday, September 15, 2014
Daily Doodles: just some fluff
![]() |
Just a quick doodle of cuteness. |
"Puckadoodle" will resume as soon as I get my laptop back.
<3 you and hope you're having a better day than me.
Labels:
crappy sketches,
cute,
daily doodles,
fae,
fairlands,
fluff,
King of Fae,
profane comics,
profane daily doodles,
profanities,
Puck,
queen of fae,
quickie comic
Friday, September 12, 2014
sick + art studio still in repairs
Wonderful.
I'm sick and GeekSquad still hasn't repaired my laptop. Meaning...more waiting.
Isn't waiting fun!
Here. Have some works-in-progress.
Hopefully see you Monday with updates.
I'm sick and GeekSquad still hasn't repaired my laptop. Meaning...more waiting.
Isn't waiting fun!
Here. Have some works-in-progress.
Queenie enjoys a meal of mortal prince. Yummy. |
Untitled Rue painting. |
![]() | |
Untitled Puck "normal" and "berserk" painting. |
Monday, September 8, 2014
technical difficulties: Have some Concept Art
Friday, September 5, 2014
Technical Difficulties: posting delay
![]() |
Queenie wants to use the "intermission" for fun. Kingywingy doesn't look amused. |
Due to unexpected technical difficulties, the comic will be slightly delayed . This is just a road bump though. In the meantime, I'll entertain you with some other content. Estimated Sept. 15, "Puckadoodle" will resume. Pg 13 thru 16 to go!
Check out what's up so far.
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7, Page 8, Page 9, Page 10, Page 11, Page 12
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Profane Comics: Puckadoodle (Page 12)
![]() |
Puckadoodle Pg 12. CLICK to ENLARGE. |
Puck and the King discuss his odd behavior today and the song he is currently singing.
Page 13 on Friday!
Consider sharing if you enjoy the comic. <3
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9, Page 10, Page 11
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Profane Comics: Puckadoodle (Page 11)
![]() | |
Click to ENLARGE. Page 11. |
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9, Page 10
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Profane Comics: Puckadoodle (Page 10)
![]() | ||
Click to ENLARGE. Page 10. |
Page 11 up this Friday. Remember that sharing brings 11 years good luck to you! <3
Profane Comics: "Puckadoodle Dandy!"
Past Pages: Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5, Page 6, Page 7 Page 8, Page 9
Or hop over to the INDEX for Profane Tales/Comics.
Sunday, February 9, 2014
have some concept art! (to hold you over 'til Wednesday)
fairy king concept sketch |
fairy queen concept sketch |
Gelding anatomy study |
more Gelding |
crappy Puck concept art |
Goblin King character concept and color studies |
Labels:
art,
artwork,
character,
comic,
concept art,
creatures,
doodle,
fable,
fae,
fantasy,
Gelding,
King of Fae,
magic,
mythology,
profane tales,
profanities,
Puck,
queen of fae,
silliness,
unicorn
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Happy New Year! Some updates for your eyeballs' pleasures!
![]() |
Gelding saved New Year. Same old, same old. |
Hello, readers!
Happy New Years!
Check out the new and improved Tables of Contents to the right! There is one added just for Profane Tales and the one for Dearests Artists shall be up soon as well! Including artwork and everything. I have also organized the index for already posted Short Stories to make navigating the site easier and funner.
So, tell me about your favorite mythtical creatures?
And while we're at it, what is your New Year's resolutions!
As always, thank you visiting and don't be afraid to comment and share. Click a response below to let me know you were here and you'll have good luck :p
<3
Labels:
art,
artwork,
character,
comic,
creatures,
doodle,
fable,
fantasy,
Gelding,
humor,
magic,
profane tales,
profanities,
shortstory,
site notes,
to readers,
unicorn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)