poem: Yet I Wake

My heart often breaks in so many places

I wonder how large and soft it must be to have so many fractures

Yet at times I cannot feel it in my chest
like my hands, quick and creative

Slow to strike a living thing

Yet I wake with dirt and blood beneath my nails

Wishing some devil had driven me but recalling all the details

Made of glass

And the wind whistles through the cracks

Until it all crumbles…

Everything…

Heart, head, limbs, blood, bile

Yet I find I am mistaken when another break

Marches from the center of my heart

To its eastward corner

To beat in my bosom another day.

poem: Maiden Leaves the Tower

Maiden Leaves the Tower

"I love you too much for you to know
I cut your tongue to save you from your stupid woes
I lock the tower for your own protection, waif.
The world would pluck your petals off
In games of chance and you will not
Survive the battery. Better you remain behind the gate."

I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms and dreams
I feel your dagger twist
And the shadows strike
My heart, they know
They know to catch the blood that drips

"Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Child!"

"Ungrateful wench, all I've fought for you
You owe me all and tears are due.
How dare you think love is unconditional;
I set the rules!
You signed a contract in your virgin blood
I stitched the wounds and cleaned the mud
Fashion a rope to leave
and you will meet the ugliness of the world!"

Lines of the contract read in my sleep
As I forget to laugh and live
I break into bite-sized bits
Sing to myself
I shall never be sane and fixed.

"Stupid Coward Child FoolishTraitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Child!"

"You owe me, little girl
You owe me tears!
You owe me, little girl
Without me you are weak!
You owe me, little girl.
You think you can survive
without me, little girl?"

I hear my defeats so clear
In empty rooms and dreams
I feel your dagger twist
Shadows pick at scabs

"Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid! Coward! Child! Foolish! TRAITOR! VILE! UNGRATEFUL! DUMB WENCH!
Stupid Child!"

...I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms and dreams
I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms and dreams
I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms  and dreams.
I hear your voice in my ear
In a empty rooms and screams!