poem: Empty

Find another drunken fly

Leave me be

Store new lies

Out of pity

You are no friend of mine.

Throw your web, wrap them tight, bite them hard, drain them dry.

I am empty.

poem: Vessel

just a vessel

vessel

I’m just a vessel

another vestal

black eyes like pools of depth

will signify their entrance

be they demon, god, or dead

you shall not ask of me

but ask whate'er divinity

fills my throat and twists my form

just a vessel

easy come and aching go

kept hollow in a gate

respected and restrained and robed in white

just a vessel

they crown with ivy leaves

holy grail to inundate

respected and restrained and gone stark white

I’m just a vessel

a virgin vestal

the ink i lay on scroll

i author not at all

some thunderous guest scowls

i comprehend indeed

but my ivy-tied hands would bleed

if i even thought to intervene

poem: Yet I Wake

My heart often breaks in so many places

I wonder how large and soft it must be to have so many fractures

Yet at times I cannot feel it in my chest
like my hands, quick and creative

Slow to strike a living thing

Yet I wake with dirt and blood beneath my nails

Wishing some devil had driven me but recalling all the details

Made of glass

And the wind whistles through the cracks

Until it all crumbles…

Everything…

Heart, head, limbs, blood, bile

Yet I find I am mistaken when another break

Marches from the center of my heart

To its eastward corner

To beat in my bosom another day.

poem: Maiden Leaves the Tower

Maiden Leaves the Tower

"I love you too much for you to know
I cut your tongue to save you from your stupid woes
I lock the tower for your own protection, waif.
The world would pluck your petals off
In games of chance and you will not
Survive the battery. Better you remain behind the gate."

I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms and dreams
I feel your dagger twist
And the shadows strike
My heart, they know
They know to catch the blood that drips

"Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Child!"

"Ungrateful wench, all I've fought for you
You owe me all and tears are due.
How dare you think love is unconditional;
I set the rules!
You signed a contract in your virgin blood
I stitched the wounds and cleaned the mud
Fashion a rope to leave
and you will meet the ugliness of the world!"

Lines of the contract read in my sleep
As I forget to laugh and live
I break into bite-sized bits
Sing to myself
I shall never be sane and fixed.

"Stupid Coward Child FoolishTraitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid Child!"

"You owe me, little girl
You owe me tears!
You owe me, little girl
Without me you are weak!
You owe me, little girl.
You think you can survive
without me, little girl?"

I hear my defeats so clear
In empty rooms and dreams
I feel your dagger twist
Shadows pick at scabs

"Stupid Coward Child Foolish Traitor Vile Ungrateful Dumb wench.
Stupid! Coward! Child! Foolish! TRAITOR! VILE! UNGRATEFUL! DUMB WENCH!
Stupid Child!"

...I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms and dreams
I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms and dreams
I hear your voice in my ear
In empty rooms  and dreams.
I hear your voice in my ear
In a empty rooms and screams!

poem: I Am a Coward

I am a coward

I am a coward

I do not love myself enough to love another

My blood is bled only fr dramatic purposes

All my defenses only exist to win

at petty games that I play because I like pain.

My company is by law

and never by the choice that cannot live in a void.

I am a coward.

I am a coward.

The kind of coward that disturbs a peaceful night's flow

by crying through the muzzle only there for his own good.

You know I am no person.

A person would be grateful for the leash 

that keeps him sheltered and positioned

before his creator

where his little plays, plots and ways

can be monitored.

I am a coward.

I am no person

so beware and keep and eye on me in water.

I may begin to fight and gasp for air

and betray you

instead of sinking as I'm meant to do.

Derelict that I am,

I may act as if I don't owe you life itself sometimes

and I may even forget that I'm a ragdoll

for I am a coward.

Derelict, coward, ungrateful, traitor.

I am no person, no.

But if I were I would fall down on both knees

to beg your pardon for

everything ever and plead

yet since I am not thus armed with the power of love

my moral compass is void

and I push when I'm shoved.

If I were a person then I would take the brunt

sadly I am too weak.

I'm a sniveling cunt.

My name is Coward.

I am a coward. Oh

If I were brave 

I wouldn't know any discomfort

If I were loving I would eat your bullshit, pinky-up!

I'm sorry I'm not strong enough. 

I've no choice.

If I were human I would know the way to rescue.

But being cold and so unreachable

why should I be dependable?

I would never tell you

"Just pull the trigger."

I am, I am...yes

I am quite 

the little

confused

coward.

(Emphasis on little.)

(c) Luz Briar 2010-2011.

poem: Strike Me (Fair-Weather)

Strike Me (Fair-Weather)

Strike me

I know it is your way to wound

In fair-weather

To hide your quiver

And in the downpour

To produce it and aim.

You beat your prey down to a pulp you can digest

Then spit it out…

Then wave the white flag…

Strike me

Fair-weather guardian

Tug the chain

To return me to your range.

But when the links break

And you lose your target, cry.

“Abandonment” in all its synonyms

You spit me out

You wave your flag

Strike me

How dare I escape the pain

I am a Coward!

How dare I hide from you

Or dare to seek shelter

From the maelstrom (Hell’s Wrath)

My soul is so colored from your attacks

It aches and trembles to touch.

You’ll spit out nothing now

And I will ignore your flag.

(c) 2011 Luz Briar.

poem: No Altar

No Altar

What I’d give to stop the ache

To end the twisting, knotting pain

I would sacrifice to have that pit tamed

But it asks for nothing

No deity calls for offerings

No voice of thunder commands,

No blood-thirsty serpents

What can slip the ground back

Beneath my calloused feet?

What force can loosen

Knots as tight as these?

Still, though not commanded

I fall to a kneel…

When shall this longing break me?

Nothing  cracks the ice though

Nothing offers reprieve

Nothing rewards, nothing scolds.

My writhing torment...

Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

And the pit, it grows and grows…

(c)2010 Luz Briar.

poem: Ode to Aurora

Brothers Grimm Sleeping Beauty (Briar Rose)

Ode to Aurora

I envy you your sleep

In recumbent bliss, lain deep

Awaiting the day

When you will be saved

You triumph inactive.

I envy you your sleep

To what task should I seek

To gain the power, to float through the hours

Prick a finger? Taste a fruit?

I envy you your sleep

Absence is the key

Will you teach me this trick,

For my tavern icy thick

So I may sleep in sleet, and still be

Warm within. May I wake in warmth?

(c)2009 Luz Briar.