poem: I Am a Coward

I am a coward

I am a coward

I do not love myself enough to love another

My blood is bled only fr dramatic purposes

All my defenses only exist to win

at petty games that I play because I like pain.

My company is by law

and never by the choice that cannot live in a void.

I am a coward.

I am a coward.

The kind of coward that disturbs a peaceful night's flow

by crying through the muzzle only there for his own good.

You know I am no person.

A person would be grateful for the leash 

that keeps him sheltered and positioned

before his creator

where his little plays, plots and ways

can be monitored.

I am a coward.

I am no person

so beware and keep and eye on me in water.

I may begin to fight and gasp for air

and betray you

instead of sinking as I'm meant to do.

Derelict that I am,

I may act as if I don't owe you life itself sometimes

and I may even forget that I'm a ragdoll

for I am a coward.

Derelict, coward, ungrateful, traitor.

I am no person, no.

But if I were I would fall down on both knees

to beg your pardon for

everything ever and plead

yet since I am not thus armed with the power of love

my moral compass is void

and I push when I'm shoved.

If I were a person then I would take the brunt

sadly I am too weak.

I'm a sniveling cunt.

My name is Coward.

I am a coward. Oh

If I were brave 

I wouldn't know any discomfort

If I were loving I would eat your bullshit, pinky-up!

I'm sorry I'm not strong enough. 

I've no choice.

If I were human I would know the way to rescue.

But being cold and so unreachable

why should I be dependable?

I would never tell you

"Just pull the trigger."

I am, I am...yes

I am quite 

the little

confused

coward.

(Emphasis on little.)

(c) Luz Briar 2010-2011.