Draining the Humor (4)-two men

4-two men

When Orion received a letter from Charles Arteberry, he was frankly afraid to open it.
“What’s wrong?” Bri asked, putting her arms around his neck.
He was in his office chair, and she pressed behind him to see the letter.
“O. Charles wrote to you?”
Bri snatched the letter up.
“I’m not enthusiastic about reading it, love.”
“Want me to read it to you?”
“Perhaps you should not—“
Before he could stop his wife, she had torn open the envelope and pulled out the parchment.
“Ahem,” she cleared her throat, “Dear Orion, your lovely wife Brigid has spoken to Lucy about a few things and Lucy suggests I head over to your estate and fuck you, because you’re tense. But my dear friend, I know how prudish you can be so I’m not going to take a bloody long trip to your estate just to have you say ‘No, sleep in the guest room while I attempt to bugger my wife so we can have a cute little infant to be the fourth earl of Constance.” Also, on that topic, if your wife is finding it hard to make you hard, perhaps she should stick her fingers in your asshole while you Try to bugger her. It has been known to work for those less-strict Sodomites. In any case, send word for me and I will be over to bugger you in the ass. Or the face. It’s your choice, my lord. Your wife can join in if she wants. Love, Charles. PS—You may want to burn this letter, my lord. What with the county already talking about how you are going to Hell and all that. To the fire place! C.”
Bri dropped the note and stared off into space. Orion was covering his face.
“He’s eloquent, isn’t he, Muffin?”
Orion snatched the letter from Bri and began to tear it up slowly. “Yes. He is quite a poet. He always has been. You know I fall for that type.”
When he tossed the scraps away he set his head on the desk.
He was not sure what it was about arrogance that made him listen. His history of lovers were not friendly, and he doubted this would ever change. Perhaps that was another reason he wanted it to end.
Bri frowned at Orion. “I was only trying to help…you just seem so miserable since you made that stupid vow.”
“Brigid,” he straightened up and looked at her, recalling how gentle she was in bed, even as she took charge.
Such men did not exist.
“I am tired. Let’s just let it rest…”
The butler’s appearance in the office doorway made them jump.
“Mr. Lawrence Dunne is here, my lord and lady.”
Orion and Bri exchanged looks. Bri visibly began grinding her teeth.
“That ugly worm is here! No! Not after how he treated you!”
“He might want to apologize, love.”
“And then what? Will you take him back?”
Orion stared, unable to speak. He simply stood and glided from the room, leaving his wife behind.
Downstairs, he spotted Lawrence in the parlor at the piano. He held his tongue for now. His indignation was below the surface, and for now he did not want to show Lawrence how wounded he truly was by his treatment.
“Dunne,” he offered his hand, making eye contact. “To what do I owe this presence?”
“To congratulate you, Orion. How is the marriage?” spoke Lawrence, lighter than his usual tone.
“Very blissful. Thank you for asking. Would you like tea?”
A strange sound reverberated from upstairs. It was high and then deep, imitating the vocals of a mule or a donkey. Instantly, Orion covered his face and Lawrence peered upstairs with lowered eyebrows.
“What in the—“
“My wife,” Orion gestured. “Being asinine. Ignore her.”
“I am only here for a moment, Orion. I simply wanted to say—“
Brigid’s donkey sounds echoed out again, interrupting Lawrence. Orion looked away, shutting his eyes tight.
“What is she doing?”
When Orion looked back at Lawrence, he had to stifle a laugh. His teeth were rather prominent, and Bri’s joke came back to mind.
“What is so funny?”
“Nothing, Lawrence, nothing.”
“Well, I’ll be leaving. This is between you and I, not your wife.”“It’s between you and your hand! Orion thought. He controlled his temper, as usual.
Lawrence mentioning Bri had been the breaking point. He had no right to speak of her in such a way.
“Orion, I came to apologize.”
“I’m not interested in your apology. You have no idea what manners or common courtesy are. Perhaps if I was treated with some dignity, perhaps if you had attended the wedding as a friend, then…Please leave or I will have you escorted out.”
When Lawrence left in a huff, Orion rushed upstairs and found Bri in her private chamber spinning at the loom.
“You are such a child,” he announced.
“Is that why you laughed?”
He smiled despite himself. “I told him to leave.”
“Good. You don’t need his humbug apology.”
Orion came to sit beside her, pulling up a stool. “Why did you tell Lucy, Bri?”
“Because I love you and I hate to see you so miserable. I know you and Charles have a history. I thought…it could relieve tension.”
He ran a hand through her hair, tucking a strand behind her ear. “Darling, don’t worry about me…”
© 2011 Luz Briar.